Hypergraffiti

Where I spray-paint my thoughts…

Bowling Night

4 Comments

Well, nobody responded to my mall nostalgia (I can’t be the only child of the 80s out there who mourns the glory days of malls, can I???) so I guess I’ll tell a little heartfelt personal story.

Last night our church had a bowling night.  We were all going to go as a family, but then Emma got a sore throat.  Chris stil really wanted to go bowling, so Jason volunteered to stay home with Emma while Chris and I went out.

We both had a good time. Actually Chris had a great time with all his friends, and even won the first game and got the highest score for his whole group, and won a little certificate afterwards congratulating him for that.

What was much more unexpected was that I also got the best score on my team, and won a similar certificate.  When I relayed this happy news to both Jason and Emma, separately, they both said in incredulous tones, “WHO were you playing against???” Their surprise clearly implied that they expected to hear I was playing against three blind paraplegics.

By the way: to any blind paraplegics reading this post: no offense intended. I am sure you are brilliant, skilled, and able people. I’m just suggesting that I might be able to beat you at bowling.  Normally that would be the only team of people I could beat at bowling.

But no. I was bowling against a team of my peers, people perfectly able to bowl.  I just happened to have an oddly good night, or maybe they had an oddly bad night.

Maybe I’ve been honing my skills with all the Wii bowling.  I really thought Wii bowling would be bad for my already-abysmal real-life bowling skills, because it’s so much easier.  I thought it would lull me into a false sense of competence.  But I’ve been bowling on the Wii since Christmas, and now I score 134 in a real life game? (Trust me, 134 is an excellent score for me.  A good game is when I break 100). Maybe the Wii is a skill-building after all.

You know what really made the evening perfect for me — even more perfect than scoring 134 or seeing my son having such a great time with his friends? It was going home afterwards to the guy who doesn’t believe I can beat anyone at bowling.

Let me explain.  Events like church bowling nights bring back lots of vivid memories for me, because I’ve been going to these kinds of things all my life.  Because of my good Adventist upbringing, when I think about the single years of my late teens and 20s, I don’t look back on the nightclub scene or picking guys up in bars.  I missed all that (actually, I feel I was spared all that, but I can see that some people might feel I missed out).  Instead, what I remember are years and years of going to church social events — bowling nights, skating parties, volleyball games, etc — in a constant state of hyper-awareness.  Are there any single guys here? Any I haven’t met yet? Will that good-looking guy notice me? Is that not-so-good-looking guy a possibility, if I lower the bar a litttle? Will he notice me???  This undercurrent of stress and strain ran through everything for so many years.  It was like an annoying noise that you’re so used to you don’t even notice till someone shuts it off.

And now, for many years, it has been mercifully shut off, and I love its absence.  Yes, I know there are unhappy marriages and there are many happy single people, but for me personally I have to say marriage is the best thing ever, and not the least of its blessings is that it removes you from constantly worrying about whether the right guy is out there, maybe bowling in the next lane.  Anytime Jason and I go out together as a couple, or with the kids as a family, to some kind of group activity, I’m always glad to be going home with him.  And even if he’s not able to be by my side, knowing I’m going home to him is the next best thing.

Even if he doesn’t respect my mad bowling skillz.

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4 thoughts on “Bowling Night

  1. Congrats on your awesome bowling!

    I think the older we get the harder it is to find that possibiIity (although not impossible). I have a newly single friend and her whole life is consumed to finding a man. For her being with someone completely unsuitable is better then being alone. She has so much going for her but nothing else matters. She’s desperate and it shows! So sad!

    I do am very happy to be going home to Dwayne. Glad that search has ended. Wouldn’t even know where to look if I was!

  2. I’m sure I wouldn’t know where to look either, but I’m pretty sure my church’s bowling night would NOT be the place to start!!

  3. I read your mall post and thought to myself how the addition of Grocery stores was ruining malls in my home town. My nostaligic kick with malls is remembering late night shopping with my parents on Christmas Eve in West Edmonton Mall (my only experience of a mall before I was 11). We used to get all of our Christmas presents on that one night, go home, put up the tree, decorate the house, and wrap everything before going to bed (WAY past our bedtime, of course).

    I have to agree with you about marriage. I had someone ask me to list three people I found attractive the other day and could only come up with two: my husband and my son (obviously for different reasons than the original question intended). It’s so good not to be “looking” and it’s almost weird to realize to what extent I’ve just turned off that part of me. I just don’t look at guys in that way anymore and it’s such a freeing thing.

  4. Loved this paragraph:
    “And now, for many years, it has been mercifully shut off, and I love its absence. Yes, I know there are unhappy marriages and there are many happy single people, but for me personally I have to say marriage is the best thing ever, and not the least of its blessings is that it removes you from constantly worrying about whether the right guy is out there, maybe bowling in the next lane. Anytime Jason and I go out together as a couple, or with the kids as a family, to some kind of group activity, I’m always glad to be going home with him. And even if he’s not able to be by my side, knowing I’m going home to him is the next best thing.”

    I loved it because I agree so much. I have this secret delight when someone who has just fallen in love or gotten engaged looks at me in a pitying fashion because I am an old married woman, and thus, not as wildly passionate about my partner as they are, for of course, no one has ever loved like them before! My secret delight is because I love where I’m at so much more! I mean, the twitterpated stuff is fun, but if it went on for very long, it would probably kill you. Jonathan is such a wonderful companion, and being married to him has brought such happiness into my life….
    When you don’t much believe in divorce and believe that marriage is for a lifetime, when your parents broke up when you were little, dating and courtship can be fraught with stress and strain. I’m SO glad to have it over with! It’s no game that you play…

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