Hypergraffiti

Where I spray-paint my thoughts…

My Nose is Froze; My Toes is Froze (or, a Taste or Winter Whine)

8 Comments

It wouldn’t be January if I didn’t take a few minutes to whine about how I hate, loathe, despise and abhor the weather.

It’s an annual rant and you’d think by now I would have either moved to a warmer climate or shut up about it, but neither of those things is forthcoming. I continue to suffer thorugh the horrors of winter in the place I love, and I reserve my right to complain.

I hate snow and cold anyway, but we’re having an unusually cold snap (by Newfoundland standards, not by prairie standards) this week — temps down to between -10 and -15 Celsius, with windchills down in the -20s.

I am not happy about this. I am particularly not happy that our lovely but drafty older home is letting in so much of the wind chill, so that even when I’m home I can’t be as cozy as I’d like.

Being home is the key, though. Winter wouldn’t be a problem — at least not such a big one — if I were just allowed to stay inside. Instead I have to brave that punishing walk from the house to the car, from the car to the office, from the car to the store, etc., several times a day, as if I were some kind of intrepid arctic explorer.

People who claim to “love winter” — and I know several of them, although mostly I think they are lying — mainly say they like it because of the winter sports. They claim to enjoy things like skiing, snowboarding, snoeshowing. I highly doubt that people actually enjoy these things. I believe they’re putting a brave face on an impossible situation.

But let’s say, just theoretically, that there are people who do enjoy being outdoors when it’s cold, feeling the snow crunch underfoor (it’s been so cold here lately that the snow actually does crunch, rather than making that slurrrsshh noise we usually get in St. John’s). I need to make it absolutely clear that I am not one of those people.

I love the outdoors as much as the next person — well, maybe the person next to him, the one wearing the extra sweater. I love the outdoors in summer, when I can go for quick dip in the water at Manuels River and then lie on the rocks drying myself off. Outdoor activities with the word “beach” in them are very attractive to me. Outdoors in winter? There’s no need. Either cancel school and work from January till March, or build a network of underground tunnels connecting the entire city. They’ve got ’em at MUN; all they need to do is extend the system a little. Don’t get me wrong, you know I love my job, but this leaving the house thing has got to (although at the moment my office is warmer than my house, so, you know … underground tunnels are the way to go!)

While we wait for the digging to commence, I will submit a short list of my favourite winter sports:

1. Reading by the fire.
2. Watching House DVDs by the fire.
3. Hot bubble baths.
4. Play board games with the kids — by the fire, of course.
5. Going to bed early.
6. Sleeping in late.
7. Did I mention the fire?

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8 thoughts on “My Nose is Froze; My Toes is Froze (or, a Taste or Winter Whine)

  1. We had ice storms all last weekend (probably laughable by your standards) and the area has been virtually shut down since then. I’ve been home with my four kids since I left work early and picked them up last Friday. While it looks like we are all headed back to school tomorrow, I have to say I have loved every minute of being home this whole time and not suffered from cabin fever even once.

  2. Oh, might I join you with the House DVD’s by the fire…this is my kind of sport! I’ll bring the popcorn and cocoa

  3. So that’s why I don’t have a favorite winter sport! No fire.

    By the way, you can whine about winter anytime, as far as I’m concerned. You do it so well. I, on the other hand, need a bit more practice.

  4. You have heard this already…but it snowed in Loma Linda last week. First time in quarter-century, they said. Of course, there was just a half-inch accumulation that melted away by mid-day, but it was such a surprisingly, ironically warm blessing.

  5. Unfortunately, the snow in Newfoundland is never surprising or ironic, it’s most often expected and sarcastic!

  6. Sports have never been my favourite part of anything, but I do love the light in winter – the brightness of the house filled with all that light reflected from the snow. And I like the early nights, too – I like shutting the curtains at 5:00 and putting all the lights on. It’s cozy.

  7. One winter, when I refused to go outside and play, your grandmother called me a house cat. She would call you a house cat too. I thought of that last night as I was ironing by the fire.

  8. I am the biggest cold wimp on the planet. I don’t like to be cold even for a second. I can tell if my mother’s pool is only 88°F instead of the requisite 90°F. The trip from the front door to the car in the winter is almost unbearable and since my drive to work is only a few minutes, the car won’t even warm up by then.

    My vehicle has a car starter, which would be WONDERFUL if I could remember to use it. But usually I forget. And on the rare occasion I do remember, then I also remember that as much as I hate the cold, global warming is still bad and I shouldn’t be sacrificing the planet for three minutes of comfort on the way to work.

    So hail the Winter Whine, may its nasal tones forever sound.

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